Meeting Jesus in the Confessional

Several years ago I had a very profound experience, a conversion of sorts. Growing up in an Irish Catholic family I have memories of going to church that go back to before I could speak. Every Sunday the whole family, all eight of us, would sit right in the front pew, we attended CCD faithfully and received all of the sacraments of initiation.

But I was a product of my generation where we were not taught the depths of divine truth, rather we were taught a surface “feel-good” religion. So, needless to say, when I became a teenager, I stopped practicing the faith of my youth and adopted the basic secular humanistic tenet that permeates society today.

After a while I learned that this philosophy doesn’t deliver what it promises — peace, harmony and that human beings are capable of being ethical and moral without religion or God. So in my twenties I began a slow quest for peace in my life, which I was able to find from going to Mass on Sunday and singing with the choir.

There is a line from Isaiah 55:11, which tells us the word of God never returns to him void, it always accomplishes its purpose. So a few years after listening to scripture at Mass and hearing some good homilies on the “meat and potatoes” of our faith, I began to get involved in different ministries of the Church.

One very interesting homily, however, on the importance of sacramental confession proved to be life changing. Father spoke about how it is Jesus we meet in the confessional. He helped us to understand that while the priest is present, it was Jesus to whom I was confessing, who is truly present in his sacraments. The priest even gave out an examination of conscience after Mass.

Up to this point, I would just confess straight to God in sorrow for sin and feel forgiven. But then I found myself doing the same stupid things over and over. Of course I would feel awful (because sin always eventually makes you feel bad), so I would confess straight to God, feel forgiven, but then turn around and do the same stupid things again. It seemed I couldn’t break this cycle of repeated sin.

Being frustrated with myself, and after hearing that homily on confession, I felt a need to confess my sins to a priest.

That day changed the course of my life. I walked into the confessional, but someone else walked out — or rather, I left someone there, someone I didn’t want. The Lord flooded me with sanctifying grace that day. He gave me a profound hunger to learn the faith I instinctively knew I hadn’t learned, and to do holy things. I was also delivered from the very desire to participate in my past sinfulness — a free gift from God. And for the first time, I experienced deep inner peace and overflowing joy, so abundant that I think I wore a smile on my face for two weeks.

Prior to confession, the readings that week were about the Prodigal Son, the parable of God the Father’s love for the repentant sinner. What a loving and tender God we have who has such patience for his children.

Just as the father in the parable, he waits for us to turn our hearts to him. And when we choose to turn back to him, he sees us in the distance and meets us on the way, clothing us with grace and mercy. This is what we have waiting for us if we have genuine sorrow for our sins every time we go to confession.

My prayer for you as we prepare for Lent and Easter is that you avail yourself to the gift of divine grace and mercy through the sacrament of reconciliation and experience, as our Lord Jesus promised, the peace and joy this world cannot give.